Nick Punto Sacrifices His Body, Sacred Cow, Two Yankess Fans To Make The Play

In an unbelievable display of dedication and hustle yesterday, future Hall-Of-Famer Nick Punto sacrificed his body, a Hindu Sacred Cow and two Yankees fans that had been previously heckling him from the stands near first base, in order to make a diving stop in the hole and throw out the runner.  When asked to comment on the play and his shortstop's disturbingly vast knowledge of Aztec sacrificial rituals, manager Bobby Valentine replied, "He's a scrappy guy, he's willing to give up anything to make the play, real scrappy, y'know?"  When queried on his creative inclusion of the Yankee fans into the sacrifice, Nick Punto replied, "That's right, I'm Future Hall-Of-Famer Nick Punto, and if you get in my way, I WILL KILL YOU.  Gotta go, I'm late for my daily telepathic sparring session with Mr. T, the Garfoose and Brian Wilson's beard."